Monday, January 16, 2006

You Might Be an Intifada Criminal If...

The AFP reports: HEBRON, West Bank (AFP) - Israel drafted hundreds of police reinforcements to the West Bank town of Hebron in a bid to quell what the press dubbed the Jewish Intifada, sparked by plans to evacuate settlers. The army slapped a ban on non-resident Israelis of Hebron from entering the town centre until January 22 in a bid to quell demonstrations. "Hundreds of Israeli citizens have taken part in violent demonstrations in the quarter of the Jewish community of Hebron against security forces as well as the Palestinian residents and their property," he said. Acting Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has vowed zero tolerance towards Jewish families resisting eviction from a market in the flashpoint town, following two days of clashes between militant Jewish settlers and security forces. Tovya says: And why is this called the "Jewish Intifada" again? Let's go through the intifada litmus test to find out: You Might Be an Intifada Criminal If... (A) You intend to strap a bomb to yourself... (nope, definitely not guilty of this, Jews don't get 72 virgins in paradise) (B) You throw rocks at Israeli soldiers or any other civilian... (hmm, mostly sticking to fruit and vegetable launching) (C) You capture foreigners and behead them (nope, no loose heads rolling around the market either) (D) You put snipers at pre-determined points to assasinate helpless civilians (sorry, left our guns at home) (E) You hijack bus loads of children and then kill them in a fiery explosion (whew, not this either) (F) The media has always wanted to say "Jewish Intifada" and now is as good a time as any. (Ding, Ding, Ding, we have a winner!) Yeah! 1 for 6, that's close enough. Let's call it an intifada. And as an added bonus, our fine Jewish leadership gets the opportunity to expel religious Jews from yet another plot of land that was promised to us by G-d. But didn't Hashem warn us about ignoring our sacred covenant? Of course not, Kadima is building a tower to the heavens, and they will show everyone who is really in charge.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Moshe said...

yay, i get to have the first comment again.

1/16/2006 08:11:00 PM  
Blogger abumaklubah said...

you might be a jewish terrorist if?
A. you areest shoot and kill innocent palis
b. build a wall on land thats not even yours
c. bribe and steal from the american people and there government
d. invite jews from european countries who have no ancentrol claims to palestine
e. treat arabs like whites used to treat blacks in america

just remember the jews started terrorism in palestine long ago.

1/18/2006 04:09:00 PM  
Blogger Tovya @ Zion Report said...

excuse me.. were you talking? i'm sorry i didn't hear a thing you said.

1/18/2006 05:22:00 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

I'm going to ignore abu's (imbicilic) comment though I'd like him to check out my site. I'm sure he'd have lots to say:)

Tovya, I do think the press was right in labeling the violence in Hevron as a "Jewish intifada".

The "palesinian" intifada-at least the first one-consisted of youth-scum throwing rocks at Israeli police. In the Hevron case,Jewish youth-scum were throwing rocks at Israeli police. I think that sometimes it's important to have all the details on a situation before judging it. I don't mean to offend you but I must say I'm embarassed to be Jewish when things like the Hevron riots take place.

בתקווה,איתן

1/20/2006 05:56:00 AM  
Blogger Tovya @ Zion Report said...

I know Eitan. I got the supposed "inside scoop" from a buddy of mine who was supposedly "protesting" the Chevron expulsion. I asked him if there were any Jews throwing rocks, and he told me flat out.. NO.

Of course, later on I saw the footage of the rock throwing, and I am quite sure I saw him out there doing it too. So much for trust.

I agree though, rock throwing is a huge embarrassment and really bad PR.

1/20/2006 03:25:00 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home