Monday, December 05, 2005

You've Been Pre-Approved** for Membership!

Dear Israel, We wish to thank you for your recent application into the International Red Cross. We also would like to congratulate you on being pre-approved* for membership into this distinguished world body with a rich history**. It is our pleasure to give you the opportunity to make the most of your membership and proudly display your new insignia on you uniforms and ambulances***. We are sorry that we were unable to approve your Judaic religious symbol with your inclusion into the world body of Red Cross organizations, but you can be assured that the benefits of membership far outweigh the costs****. Once again welcome aboard, and we look forward to welcoming you as a full-fledged member***** of our foundation. Sincerely, The International Commitee of the Red Cross Terms and Conditions * You were pre-approved based upon information that was available to us concerning your zeal in kicking your fellow Jews out of their homes. If our board of directors later determines that you are no longer up to the task of further expulsions, your pre-approval may be revoked. ** This 'rich history' may include multiple acts of Anti-Semitism that we do not hold ourselves responsible for. The International Red Cross cannot guarantee that that Islamic members of the commitee will not continue using ambulances to transport terrorists. *** From time-to-time, we may require you to wear a Yellow Star of David on your shoulder so that you will not be able to blend in with our other care workers. **** The costs may include public humiliation, the de-Judification of the Magen David Adom, and allowing your medical personnel to go into harms way without the ability to bear arms or be accompanied by a armed guards. ***** The term full-fledged membership is used for illustrative purposes only. Please bear in mind that you are Jews, and in our eyes you will always be sub-human. As long as you remember that your place is beneath us, I am sure that our relationship will be a long-lasting one.


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