Thursday, November 10, 2005

The Infidel French Apartheid Regime

Declaration of a Paristinian State Dear French Infidels, The occupation of the Muslim people of France must end. I call for the nation of France to hear the cry of their Islamic population and declare an autonomous state of Paristine. Their Muslim citizenry has long been held back by the democratic oppression of an apartheid regime and deserves the opportunity of self-rule. I further declare that East Paris be given to the Paristinian people as their eternal capital, and that a mosque be built where the Eiffel Tower now stands. The Eiffel Tower’s continued presence only serves as a reminder to the Muslims of the oppressive rule of their French overlords. All signs of a French presence in this new Paristinian state must be erased. France must not protest when the new Muslim owners destroy archeological evidence of the French nation's existence. This is a necessary step towards reparation. Furthermore, it must be recognized that in this new Paristinian state, a charter will be written that will call for the total annihilation of what remains of France after the declaration of Muslim independence. The French people need not be alarmed as this is simply a cultural exercise. The French nation must recognize that this violent charter is simply part of the Paristinian culture, and you have no right to ask us to change the language of the charter. We must maintain political correctness at all costs. It is also likely that Paristinian children’s television programming will teach kids to hate and kill the people of France. Our school textbooks will also more than likely include a map of France that shows no existence of a French nation, and only an Islamic Paristinian Republic from the English Channel to the Mediterranean Sea. Do not be alarmed, we recognize your right to exist… trust us. Most importantly, please understand that it is likely that further terrorist activities and riots will take place after the establishment of the Muslim state of Paristine. The Paristinian people were long oppressed and deserve the opportunity to express the dismay of their former occupation. Please do not ask the new Paristinian government to stop such attacks, as we have no control over these militants. We further ask that the French government restrain herself, and not to strike back at what you call will “terrorist groups”. Remember, they are not really terrorists; they are “freedom fighters”. In the event that the French government ignores our pleas, the United Nations will implement immediate sanctions against you. Remember, it is your fault that we are committing violence against you, so you have no right to self-defense. If you ignore the sanctions placed against you, do not be surprised if UN peacekeepers occupy West Paris to force you to concede. Our last demand is that you immediately begin to help us construct a nuclear power plant that is capable of producing weapons grade plutonium. Have no fear, we have no intention of actually producing fissionable material for use in a nuclear weapon, we will only use it to create power for our nation. You have to believe us. In closing, I would like to make it clear that we have no intention of performing any gestures of peace prior to you meeting our demands. If you want us to stop rioting, murdering, and looting, you must be the party who takes all necessary steps towards the establishment of peace. We deserve the right to kill, and you deserve the right to meet our demands. With love and affection, The Oppressed Muslims of Paristine


Blogger Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Dude - You had it, and missed it by "that" much. Do a search and replace -- call it PARISTINE. Much better name;-)

11/10/2005 11:57:00 AM  
Blogger Tovya @ Zion Report said...

you're brilliant, why didn't i think of that? okay, i changed it, thanks.

11/10/2005 04:25:00 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Nice...very nice!!! Tovya, in my opinion this is the best, most innovative, best written post I've had the pleasure of reading on your blog so far. Check out my blog for some political commentary admittedly not as witty as yours.

Be'tikva, Eitan.

11/13/2005 02:04:00 AM  
Blogger Jameel @ The Muqata said...

ZY: Excellent!

Shavua Tov.

11/14/2005 06:08:00 AM  
Blogger Tovya @ Zion Report said...

Yes Jameel, and your brilliant editorial skills made it so :-)

11/14/2005 03:26:00 PM  

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