Tuesday, November 29, 2005

All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt

Peres: "I got my toches kicked and all I got was this stupid t-shirt"

CBS News reports: Shimon Peres plans to leave Israel's dovish Labor Party, after suffering a humiliating defeat in the race for the party leadership. In Barcelona on Tuesday, Peres, who promised a formal announcement Wednesday, had warm words for Sharon — and none for Labor, whose members ousted him as party chairman earlier this month, in favor of union firebrand Amir Peretz. Tovya says: We knew this was coming, but I just can't help but post anything that includes the words "Shimon Peres" and "humiliating defeat" in the same sentence. It makes me laugh until my side hurts.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Terrorism Isn't Terrorism, It's Terrorism

The UK Telegraph reports: The European Union, Arab nations and Israel have endorsed an anti-terrorism code of conduct, but failed to agree on a definition of terrorism. The row was resolved by removing a contentious section dealing with the right to self-determination and the fact that "terrorist attacks cannot be justified or legitimized by any cause or grievance". Mr Blair played down the failure to reach an agreement on the definition of terrorism. "If you look at this code of conduct, we are making it quite clear that people are united in their total condemnation of killing innocent civilians by terrorism," he said. Tovya says: Okay Mr. Blair, what exactly was the accomplishment? Everyone agrees that "undefinable terrorism" is wrong? So the new definition of terrorism is that there is no definition? Or did Mr. Blair mean that it's good that everyone agrees that terrorism is terrorism unless it is a Jew who is murdered, in which case it can no longer be classified as terrorism? Let's break this down just to make sure that I understand this correctly:
  • Dead Brit = Victim of Terrorism
  • Dead Frenchman = Victim of Terrorism
  • Dead German = Victim of Terrorism
  • Dead Jew = He had it coming?
I am glad we cleared that up, and here I was worried that the non-Jews might actually consider us their equals. I feel so much better now knowing that things haven't changed.

03/08/2001 - A Day in Recent History

Below are a few quotes from Ariel Sharon's inauguration speech on March 8th, 2001.
"We will conduct negotiations with the Palestinians to achieve political agreements - but not under the pressure of terror and violence." "The Government I head will raise the banner of Zionism..." "we - all the members of the government - must endeavor to maintain proper government... while ensuring that the government's activities are always within the boundaries of the law." "If we stand together 'as one person with one heart' - we can face all of the challenges ahead of us." "If we turn our back to [Jerusalem], to its symbols and our sacred places, we will put a question mark on our very future and destiny."
What happened? Was it simple greed or the added combination of escaping prosecution that caused him to abandon his platform?
  • He not only negotiated underfire, but went as far as giving our enemies gifts without so much as even asking for a gesture of peace.
  • He desecrated the banner of Zionism and then burned it at the stake.
  • He made a mockery out of the rule of law, and went out of his way to trample the fragile democratic image of the state.
  • He unified the Right behind his lies, and then kicked us out of his tent and brought forth the Leftists in our stead.
  • Lastly, the question of his stance on Jerusalem is yet to be determined. Will he negotiate away our beloved city, or will he actually keep his campaign promise to keep Jerusalem our 'eternal capital'? I safely assume that he is already cutting up Jerusalem behind the scenes.

Haveil Havalim #46 At Israel Perspectives

I was graciously mentioned in Haveil Havalim #46, and that's always a pleasantry.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Shtetl Real Estate for Sale, Good Price

Leading the Charge reports: JERUSALEM - Israeli and Palestinian rescue services will on Monday sign an agreement which will help end a dispute over symbols that has kept Israel out of the global Red Cross movement, the Swiss Foreign Ministry said. Officials from Israel‘s Magen David Adom (Red Star of David) said the deal, to be signed in Geneva, would guarantee speedier passage for Palestinian Red Crescent ambulances through Israeli military checkpoints in the occupied West Bank . The Swiss-mediated agreement should also strengthen support for introducing a proposed non-denominational diamond emblem for the humanitarian network next month. Israel has long complained it could not join the Red Cross and Red Crescent movement. Arab and Muslim countries rejected proposals that would have meant incorporating the Star of David, a symbol that had no formal religious significance. Tovya says: I think I want to puke. I don't know if it's because of the flu-bug that I have had for a week, or because I am just sick of the anti-Semitic B.S. Seriously though, I think I am going to invest in historic shtetl real estate. I think I have a sure buyer in the new Kadima Party. They seem to be really interested in heading back to galus, and if they buy quickly, I might even throw in a box of yellow-star patches for free.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Jerusalem Under the Butcher's Knife

The AFP reports: LONDON (AFP) - A confidential Foreign Office document accuses Israel of rushing to annex east Jerusalem to prevent it from becoming the capital of a Palestinian state. "Israeli activities in Jerusalem are in violation of both its roadmap obligations and international law," the document was quoted as saying, referring to the multinational plan for a gradual move towards a Palestinian state. The document also reportedly claims that Israel's controversial concrete security barrier is being used to expropriate Arab land in and around the ancient city. "This de facto annexation of Palestinian land will be irreversible without very large-scale forced evacuations of settlers and the rerouting of the barrier," it was quoted as saying. An Israeli foreign ministry spokesman, Mark Regev, was quoted as telling the newspaper that Israel believes Jerusalem "should remain the united capital of Israel". "At the same time, Israel has committed itself that Jerusalem is one of those final status issues," he added. Tovya says: Once again the Western powers are gripping about Israel's supposed "violations", but as usual they remain silent about the fact that the "Palestinians" break the Road Map guidelines everyday. This phony treaty should have been null and void from day one. They knows this, and they don't care. Why? Because the West has convinced itself that if it sacrifices us to the dragon of Islam, then it will leave them alone. What they forget is that the hunger of a beast is never tamed. First feed it Gush Katif, then the Yehuda & Shomron, and maybe sprinkle Yerushalayim on top as an appetizer. After this is done, maybe they will force us to give the Golan to Syria. Then we’ll hear the UN scream that this is not enough and that they want us to grant the “Right of Return” to the “Palestinians” living abroad. And then they will gobble up Tel-Aviv/Yafo, Haifa, and Eilat as a final measure. Because of our own lack of faith in the covenant, we will get on our knees and beg for mercy from our enemies. That’s why it has to end now. There should be demonstrations against any further expulsions starting today. Why wait until the IDF soldiers are knocking at your doors to start screaming in protest? We are not only the victims, we are the perpetrators. If we see another expulsion it will be because we didn’t do enough to prevent it. The blame lies on us alone.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Interview With a Terrorist

Interview with Hamas Leader Mahmoud Al-Zahar: "...Legally, the Oslo Accords have been over since 1998, and in fact they ended with the occupation of the West Bank and the Gaza Strip [during the Intifada]... If there is a fear of Oslo, [Oslo] is over, and if anything of it remains, Hamas' mission upon joining the Legislative Council will be to eliminate the last remnants of [Oslo]..." "It is impossible to deny the existence of others, not even the [existence of] enemies. We are part of Allah's promise that Islam will enter Palestine and every home in the world, with a revelation of the power of Allah the Omnipotent, and a revelation of the inferiority of the infidels." (full interview here)

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Sharon, Peres and the New Oslo Party

Apparently it is being reported that Ariel Sharon and Shimon Peres have become very close after losing face with their own parties. It seems as though Humpty Dumpty and Papa Smurf are now going to form a new party that supports their ideology. Imagine that? And what might their party platform be? Let me take a good guess:
  • Lie) Tell your party supporters that you will do one thing and then do another instead.
  • Steal) Tell a bunch of people to move somewhere so that you can have the pleasure of stealing it from them later.
  • Cowardice) After you defeat your enemy, give him your sword and then drop to your knees and beg for mercy.
  • Greed) Make illegal financial deals with your enemy to fatten your bank account at the expense of those who voted for you
  • Cheat) After making this financial deal, follow it up with a deal with the devil that keeps your from being prosecuted.
But Most Importantly….
  • LOSE) Peres is a loser, and whatever he touches blows up in his face. I am certain his disease of defeat will infect the new party as well.
Here's to the new Oslo Party and the continuation of national suicide. It's time to step up to the plate Manhigut Yehudit and show us that leadership that you have been talking about. The leadership seat is open.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Palestinians Adopt National Anthem

(Above) Joyful Palestinian men having a 'happiness march' after hearing the news that they were mentioned in the new Palestinian National Anthem. O' Palestine O' Palestine! Our toilet in fantasy-land! True martyrs hate in all thy desert's sand. With bleeding hearts, we fabricate lies, Mujahideen, morons in disguise! From cradle to grave, O' Palestine, We martyr our children for thee. Allah keep our land fruitless and juden free! O' Palestine, we kill our kids for thee. O' Palestine, we kill our kids for thee.

I Love You Like the Cowboys Love the Redskins

(above) Condoleezza Rice expressing how much she values Jewish lives

The AP reports: JERUSALEM - Prodded by Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, Israel and the Palestinians agreed Tuesday on details for opening the borders of the Gaza Strip and allowing freer movement for Palestinians elsewhere, a significant step toward an eventual peace deal between historic enemies. The agreement, which gives the Palestinians control over a border for the first time, took all-night negotiations and a strong diplomatic shove from Rice. The basic elements of the deal had been in the works for weeks. "I have to say as a football fan, sometimes the last yard is the hardest, and I think we experienced that today," Rice told a news conference where she announced the agreement. Tovya says: Let me answer these problematic statements with a few questions. (A) Why is it that everytime I hear the words “historic” and “peace” in the same sentence I automatically see it as a sign that more Jews are about to be murdered? (B) Why do I fear that the phrase “diplomatic shove” means that Israel just got screwed again? (C) Why the hell is Ms. Rice comparing mideast politics to American football? The answers to these puzzling questions… (A) Because to the world, it’s always a historic moment when they get to see more dead Jews. More importantly, every time a Jew is killed, Condi starts screaming for Israel to “stop the cycle of violence”. It’s always Israel’s fault when a Jew dies… the Palestinians are always seen as the victims of “Zionist aggression”. For more on this, please see my article concerning translating State Department rhetoric. (B) Once again we are giving everything, and the Arabs are giving nothing but more empty promises. The U.S. Government knows this, and yet they do nothing. The U.S. State Department has been giving Israel the shaft for 57 years, so why should they stop now? (C) Because Ms. Rice thinks that Jewish lives are a game. We have always been the scapegoats of Western ambition, and it is our fault not theirs. We let the Americans and Europeans push us around because we are infected with the shtetl sickness. We faced persecution daily under the world's thumb while we were in exile, and now that we are free, we invite them into our own country to continue their pogroms.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Baked Rice: A Recipe for Evil

AP Photo

Former U.S. Secretary of State James Baker (above, 2nd from left) and current U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (above, 3rd from left) at the memorial of the late Yitzchak Rabin Oslo. I can't help but wonder if Baker and Rice are getting a translation of the memorial services or are they really soaking up a little Richard Wagner?

For those of you who don't remember, James Baker is the same guy who infamously stated, "F**k the Jews–they didn't vote for us anyway." Obviously a warm and fuzzy guy.

It really makes you wonder. He hates Jews, and loves Oslo (hence his presence at the memorial), so doesn't that tell you something?

Lastly, Condi Rice is sitting right next to Baker at the memorial. Shouldn't that scare you too? Afterall, she has picked-up where he left off, and is continuing in the global game of "scapegoat the Jews". Worst of all, rumor has it she will be on the Republican ticket as either the President or Vice-President in 2008.

Stay tuned... Oslo is alive and well, and America is having a blast shoving national suicide down our throats.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

If You Can't Kill Them, Scare Them

The AFP reports: JERUSALEM (AFP) - Israel's top law officer ruled that the air force can lawfully press its tactic of creating sonic booms over the Gaza Strip, adopted following a suicide bombing late last month, army radio reported. A report from the office of Attorney General Menachem Mazuz found that the tactic was effective in instilling "fear in the terrorists who had to worry about being attacked just as they prepared to fire rockets or mortar rounds from the Gaza Strip towards Israeli territory," the radio said. Tovya says: Hey! I've got an idea, let's coat some more make-up on Tammy Faye Bakker's face and send her to fondle the terrorists instead. That would really scare them. But really, what ever happened to good old fashioned killing? How about this: If we hear of a terrorist making a bomb, let's assasinate him and leave him lying dead in the street. If what we want to do is scare terrorists, I can assure you nothing is scarier than a terrorist being blown into pieces to let them know we mean business.

Babies With Attitudes, Straight Outta' Chechnya

Thanks for the hat tip from DJ Mizrahhi

Apparently this website is the Chechen equivalent of Flickr.

Anyway, I thought it was interesting to see that the “Palestinian” sickness of giving weapons to toddlers stretches over to Chechnya as well. But I am sure they just gave the kid the gun because he was bored, so no worries.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

The Infidel French Apartheid Regime

Declaration of a Paristinian State Dear French Infidels, The occupation of the Muslim people of France must end. I call for the nation of France to hear the cry of their Islamic population and declare an autonomous state of Paristine. Their Muslim citizenry has long been held back by the democratic oppression of an apartheid regime and deserves the opportunity of self-rule. I further declare that East Paris be given to the Paristinian people as their eternal capital, and that a mosque be built where the Eiffel Tower now stands. The Eiffel Tower’s continued presence only serves as a reminder to the Muslims of the oppressive rule of their French overlords. All signs of a French presence in this new Paristinian state must be erased. France must not protest when the new Muslim owners destroy archeological evidence of the French nation's existence. This is a necessary step towards reparation. Furthermore, it must be recognized that in this new Paristinian state, a charter will be written that will call for the total annihilation of what remains of France after the declaration of Muslim independence. The French people need not be alarmed as this is simply a cultural exercise. The French nation must recognize that this violent charter is simply part of the Paristinian culture, and you have no right to ask us to change the language of the charter. We must maintain political correctness at all costs. It is also likely that Paristinian children’s television programming will teach kids to hate and kill the people of France. Our school textbooks will also more than likely include a map of France that shows no existence of a French nation, and only an Islamic Paristinian Republic from the English Channel to the Mediterranean Sea. Do not be alarmed, we recognize your right to exist… trust us. Most importantly, please understand that it is likely that further terrorist activities and riots will take place after the establishment of the Muslim state of Paristine. The Paristinian people were long oppressed and deserve the opportunity to express the dismay of their former occupation. Please do not ask the new Paristinian government to stop such attacks, as we have no control over these militants. We further ask that the French government restrain herself, and not to strike back at what you call will “terrorist groups”. Remember, they are not really terrorists; they are “freedom fighters”. In the event that the French government ignores our pleas, the United Nations will implement immediate sanctions against you. Remember, it is your fault that we are committing violence against you, so you have no right to self-defense. If you ignore the sanctions placed against you, do not be surprised if UN peacekeepers occupy West Paris to force you to concede. Our last demand is that you immediately begin to help us construct a nuclear power plant that is capable of producing weapons grade plutonium. Have no fear, we have no intention of actually producing fissionable material for use in a nuclear weapon, we will only use it to create power for our nation. You have to believe us. In closing, I would like to make it clear that we have no intention of performing any gestures of peace prior to you meeting our demands. If you want us to stop rioting, murdering, and looting, you must be the party who takes all necessary steps towards the establishment of peace. We deserve the right to kill, and you deserve the right to meet our demands. With love and affection, The Oppressed Muslims of Paristine

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Anti-Semitism and Anti-Zionism are Different

Anti-Zionism is not the same thing as anti-Semitism. It is worse. Before the reestablishment of Israel and prior to the holocaust, anti-Semitism was openly rampant on every corned of the globe. Even in countries like America many private and government institutions had policies in place to prevent Jews from holding top tier positions. In many cases Jews were barred entry into universities and country clubs. Of course it was far worse in Europe, but this is well known already. Pre-holocaust anti-Semitism was openly practiced and Jew hatred was preached both publicly and privately. In those days our Western enemies readily admitted that they wanted us dead. There were no secrets in that regard. If the non-Jews let us live at all, our continued heartbeat was only tolerated if we agreed to be their serfs. We had to publicly proclaim the non-Jews to be our masters. Of course, after the holocaust, all of this changed. Western civilization no longer found pride in being called anti-Semites. It was no longer vogue to be openly anti-Jewish. It seemed as though the enlightenment of human kind had finally taken hold. Yet this was not to be the case. It’s not that they changed their opinions of us. It’s simply that they no longer could hate us without first fabricating a justification. Such was born the ‘enlightened’ Jew-hater. You see, when we lived under the rule of their thumb, they eventually realized that they would never be able to kill, expel or convert us all. Therefore they settled for our servitude between the pogroms and forced conversions. We became nothing more than seldom tolerated serfs. When the dust of the holocaust settled and the nation of Israel was reestablished, the anti-Semites found themselves in quite a quandary. They still hated us, and they still wanted us to feel the tips of their swords, but with self-determination we were out of their immediate grasps. Killing Jews was no longer as easy as walking over to the local Jewish ghetto. This is where anti-Zionism came to their rescue. The anti-Zionist does not want us to return to pre-‘67 borders, they want us to return to servitude. They miss the extra income of the Jew-tax and the helpless scapegoats living amongst them to blame for their shortcomings. They are mad as hell that we are once again a nation with our own country, and they will say anything and do anything to turn us into villains. Anti-Zionism is anti-Semitism because behind both theologies exists the tie that binds. Just blame the Jews and it will all get better. Anti-Zionism is simply a layer of hatred-justification that hides anti-Semitism. Yet, anti-Zionism is worse because it not only encompasses every aspect of anti-Semitism, but it also adds the fuel of their attempt to send us back into exile by stealing our holy land. It’s worse because it is a type of hatred that we can stop, and yet our Israeli leadership plays the game with them. They have went from being Zionists themselves to being the leaders of anti-Zionism. Anti-Zionism for the non-Jew is a reason to hate that which he will never be. Anti-Zionism for the Jew is a reason to hate that which he will always be. A Jew. (to be continued…)

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Israeli Government Ashamed of the Magen David

Israeli leadership has once again proving that they are ashamed to be Jews. The Red Cross stated that "Israel was excluded [from the International Red Cross] because it did not use an accepted symbol". And how does our spineless leadership react? "It is an important thing for us, to be part of lifesaving organizations that operate in the world," and therefore we accept this red box as the symbol for Israel. No outrage, and no Jewish pride. Israeli leadership sells us out as always. The Christians can use their cross, and the Muslims can use their cresent, but G-d forbid that we Jews use the shield of David on our Ambulances. We get to use this neat-o square box thingy instead.

News Flash: Muslims are NOT Rioting in France

Business Line reports:

According to observers, although the current rioting is confined to French Africans, French Muslims mainly of North African Arab decent are cautiously watching the unfolding race scenario.

So far, the Muslims have remained neutral but are desperately keen to know how French authorities propose to contain the situation.

Tovya says:

What, are they in denial or something? Muslims have "remained neutral"? What a messed up world we live in. You can blame a Jew for a problem even if he is 10,000-miles away from it, but a Muslim burning a car is "cautiously watching"? France deserves whatever they get. Here's to the end of Europe as we know it.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

I told you, all they want is Gush Katif, Yesha, and the eastern half of Yerushalayim and they will be satisfied. They don't really hate us.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Vatican Thieves and Jewish Serfs

Ha'aretz reports: Israel is to give the Vatican control over one of the most sacred Christian sites in Jerusalem, several European newspapers have reported recently. According to the reports, Israel will give the Holy See possession of the Coenaculum, or the Room of the Last Supper (also known as the Upper Room or the Cenacle), on Mount Zion. In exchange, Israel is to gain control of a 12th-century synagogue in Toledo, Spain, which is currently the Santa Maria la Blanca Church, says the Times of London. The synagogue became a church during the 15th-century expulsion of Jews from Spain. President Moshe Katsav and Pope Benedict XVI are to announce the historic real estate deal during their upcoming meeting in Rome, the reports claimed. Tovya says: This administration continues to outdo their previous stupidity with further stupidity. It’s not enough that they booted thousands of Jews from Jewish land in Gush Katif to give to the Muslims, but now they are looking to sell our souls to the Vatican as well. What is it with us and our ignorant ghetto mentality? We spent 2000-years living amongst these fools being treated like sub-humans, and yet we continue to bow to them even after being released from their grip. It’s an abomination. Let me put this in layman’s terms for you. The Vatican readily admits that they stole our synagogue and desecrated it by turning it into a cathedral. So instead of giving us back our synagogue, they are telling us that they will not give back what belongs to us unless we give them something in return. Does that make any sense? That’s like stealing your neighbors car and telling him he can’t have it back unless he gives you his other car in return. That’s absurd. How exactly is that doing us a favor? The most important point is that there is not a synagogue or any other sacred Diaspora icon that is worth even one-percent of what a single inch of Eretz Yisrael is worth. The only reason why we needed a synagogue in Toledo to begin with is because the Romans (who later became the Catholic Church) kicked us out of our own country and forced us to dwell amongst them. We should not forget that this particular former-synagogue is nothing but a reminder of our PAST. We were in exile, and now the exile is over. There is no reason to ever look upon that synagogue again except as a reminder that we don’t want to give Hashem a reason to send us back there.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

French Intifada: The Chickens Coming Home to Roost

I am can't help but be in awe of the Muslim riots in France... or should we call it the French intifada? I hate to admit it, but I knew this was coming. It’s never easy to fact reality when it finally hits you, but the truth is inevitable even if you are not ready for it. France is in a precarious situation, and I am eagerly waiting to see what they shall do. For years France set themselves up for a disaster, and I believe that we are observing the chickens coming home to roost. They spent years showering love and affection on the Muslims in hope of appeasing the enemy within. Yet their affection has seemed to have gone unnoticed by the very people they had hoped to seduce. Could it be that France is finally feeling the true gratitude of the ‘religion of peace’? France is in trouble, and it won’t be getting any better from here on out. France is a socialist-republic who thought that by showering welfare on their Islamic citizenry, they could tame the beast that defines a Muslim. They thought that the mighty Franc was mightier than the zeal of a devout follower of Mohammed. Oh how they are seeing the error of their ways. Islam is the religion of submission. Peace and Islam cannot coexist. Tranquility exits when Mohammed enters, and terror takes its place. The French will never understand this. France cannot be saved, because France does not want to be saved. They are guilty of their own ignorance. As was once quoted in a great movie: “The French haven't the nature for war. Their Latinate voluptuousness combines with their Gallic laziness and the result is they'd rather eat and make love with their faces than fight." Liberalism has once again proven itself to be the downfall of western civilization. The French have spent the last 200 years liberalizing themselves, and now they have to face the consequences of their own stupidity. The glory of Napoleon is dead, and with it so went French pride. The enemies of France no longer rest outside her borders, but instead have been welcomed to settle within her own backyard. The demographic problem that exists in France is awfully familiar to the situation that exists in Israel. It’s a problem that provides no solution, but only the desperate cry for action. France will be saved when she and the rest of the free world wake up and realize that some people don’t want freedom. There are people on this Earth who kill because it’s within their nature to wreak havoc. You can’t wish democratic ideology on everyone, because not everyone wants it. If we will not call Islam our enemy, then the battle is already lost. They know we are weak because we are too scared to stand up and protect ourselves. We refuse to admit to ourselves that Islam is a disease, and because of this we never vaccinated ourselves. We gladly inhaled in this virus thinking that we were too strong to be affected by it. They do not want our friendship, and they mock our appeasement. Why? Because Islam IS the enemy. At this point nothing can be done short of booting this enemy from our midst. They must be sent back to their third-world existence... or western civilization is already dead.